Feeling the stress

The stress really started to show the day after Christmas. I lost my appetite, regardless of how hungry I felt, and entered a season of restless sleep. On a good day, I'll eat one full meal and sleep for four solid hours without waking.

Strangely, the only way that I've been able to escape some of the stress is by taking a break to read parts of the Twilight series. For a minute my mind forgets everything outside of vampires and I can ignore the deadlines.

It is a strange season. I miss the peace.

As far as I can tell, the source of the stress lies in two things - a Kaiser project that I am designing for Ratcliff and my grad school application. I have hit my threshold - I don't think I can hold another droplet of responsibility right now. This Twilight thing already makes me question my sanity :)

I keep telling myself two things:
1. It will pass... eventually.
2. You've been here before.
(In studio at Kansas State - I forget how much stress I've endured in the past.)

Relief is not far away - next week the application is due and it will be released from my hands and my control. I am dying with restlessness...

And February 16th - the first stage of this Kaiser project is due. The photo above is of my workstation at Ratcliff. There are piles of sketches scattered all over. And colored pencils - my sketching tool of choice. The office gave me a new set of 48 colored pencils yesterday - I was overly happy about this :)

Only a few more days...

On the positive side - I wouldn't mind losing a pound or two. I sure do miss peaceful sleep though.

Discarded Dreams: Mattress Competition

A co-worker and I recently entered a design competition - the challenge was to create innovative ways of converting used mattresses into useful products. To view our entry online - and rate our project - please look for HELIX (our product name). The winner will be announced in February I believe. I have a lot of wishful thinking - but you know how these things can go. Please do take a look - if only to see a different aspect of my design life.

borderline obsession

Ever since KV and I saw Twilight last weekend, I can't get it out of my head. Maybe it's the melodrama or the cheesy acting - but for whatever reason, I can't wait to see it again. The movie was barely violent, which I really appreciated, and it seemed to focus more on the relational aspects of vampires than what they actually eat. I've never been a fan of vampires or wolves and all that, but now I'm determined to read the book and see what else I missed.

Maybe I'm just crazy or maybe this is some weird subconscious way of dealing with some of the stress of grad school applications and fast track projects at work but I love it!

rub on the lime

The causes of cancer remain vague while the instances of cancer keep increasing. I've thought about changing my job title to "cancer prevention specialist" b/c that is what I do - in design, I strive to reduce the probability of cancer by reducing toxins and volatile organic compounds and dioxins and heavy metals and phthalates... and a multitude of other chemicals and materials that if stored in the body long enough, commonly result in cancer. We are exposed to these materials in built environments - the same spaces we build to keep us safe, to provide us shelter - also hide within them the ability to slowly deteriorate life. This type of work doesn't seem to keep the spotlight for very long - due to things in life that destroy life far more quickly. You might not care now... now that you are young and in your twenties. But what about in twenty or thirty or forty more years... when 1 out of 10 of your friends are plagued with some variation of the same disease?

This is what sustainability is all about - life cycle. not just the immediate effect but the effect of a lifetime. It is hard enough to keep our attention focused on something to see it all the way through. We see the initial cost and the immediate benefit, and move on to something else, leaving the uncalculated costs to someone else like the landfill guy (aka. our state government) or the corporation that manufactured and produced it (b/c after all they value human life over profit, right?)

The more I focus on cancer prevention in the built environment, the more opportunities I see in other environments such as household cleaning products, makeup, laundry, vitamins (most vitamins are petroleum based and barely digestible)...

This fall it has moved a little more into my personal hygiene - into deodorant. I've been learning about the products that I used to buy from Target and all the hidden ingredients (that corporations are not required to list on the label). Just one article, of many, discusses the addition of parabens - a preservative that has been shown to seep into the skin and store in the breast. As one who is fortunate to own a pair of these, I've taken notice and am not quite sure it is worth the risk.

So I've been on the search for alternatives for a few months now. This is one hard product to replace. All those parabens and metals (such as aluminum) were put in there probably for a reason - for a better immediate effect. I've tried a few all natural, aluminum free substitutes only to end up carrying it with me constantly (to reapply repeatedly throughout the day) and with a resistance to adjust to the new scents. No amount of lavender can cover up that body funk.

In my frustration, I am resulting to a new product - the lime. It was recommended to me a few months ago by a tree-hugging type of friend and I laughed. But these are desperate times. Every morning I cut a sliver of lime from the refrigerator, squeeze and squish it onto my armpit - and move on. Guess what? It works. No smell. I can't even believe it.... in fact I still don't. So I'll carry out my experiment for quite a bit longer to see. I have a feeling it is great for the day to day things - but no going to the gym and playing a soccer game and expecting to smell like baby powder. Maybe this switch is also turning into a de-commercialization exercise as well in that I have to break down the idea that sweating and smelling (after a workout) is so bad. Did I just fall into a marketing trap by these corporations and am now overly concerned with sweat? We'll see... maybe my friends and husband will have a different view in the coming weeks.

What is Mosaic??

Occasionally I get the pleasure of answering this question, typically asked by a co-worker. They start to wonder what keeps me so busy outside of the office and why I arranged to work a 35 hour week instead of the average 45 or 50. Because KV has been working with or for Mosaic for over three years now, I've had some time to test out different answers and this is what I've found to be the most effective in communicating who and what we are...

We are a non-profit community in Berkeley that focuses on aspects of humanity such as spirituality, self awareness, relational intelligence, leadership and creativity. All of these things, along with our core values and convictions, are based on the life of Jesus. Our main goal is to empower people to live the life that only they can... and we partner with them in all kinds of ways in order to do this. We host events around social justice, photography, foodies, spiritual activists, etc... whatever interests and passions our participants share, in hopes of serving the greater community in which we all live. We are an inclusive community that values relationships and character above all else. Only our volunteer staff are required to commit to a certain set of values, in the same way that other organizations require. Please feel free to come check us out or stop by at one of our weekly meetings, held on Sunday nights at the Gaia Arts Center at 5pm.

Disclaimer: These thoughts are solely my own, based on my experience and interaction with Mosaic as a volunteer, and based on my own spiritual and personal journey through life.

A Question Worth Asking...

(The Shack, page 185)
"Just because I (God) work incredible good out of unspeakable tragedies doesn't mean I orchestrate the tragedies. Don't ever assume that my using something means I caused it or that I need it to accomplish my purposes. That will only lead you to false notions about me. Grace doesn't depend on suffering to exist, but where there is suffering you will find grace in many facets and colors."

(The Shack, page 165)
"(God) has never needed evil to accomplish his good purposes. It is you humans who have embraced evil and (God) has responded with goodness."

It seems to me that most Christian theology/religion is based on the understanding that God required a sacrifice in order to forgive us (aka. Jesus). If God is only good - why would He require a murder in order to be able to give us forgiveness? If God does not need evil to accomplish his will - then why would He need Jesus to be murdered?

If God needed a murder, that would lead me to conclude that God needed payment or revenge for our lack of trust in him. That would make God more like me, a human... and less like God - the all forgiving, all full of grace, all full of love, God. It could be argued that His holiness required the murder - but how does that make Him any different from any other god? There are tons of holy gods out there - but a God that finds holiness in love... that would be something different.

It could be argued that God needed Jesus to live and that, in order to be fully human, Jesus had to die. He died because he was human. His life and resurrection is God in him. Could people follow Jesus not because of his gruesome death, but because He lived and lives? Is it possible that Christians have over glamorized the death of Jesus and underestimated the power of his life?

What if the sacrifice wasn't the death, or murder, but in Jesus coming and living as a human? What if Christians stopped saying "I am a Christian b/c Jesus died for my sins," and instead said "I follow Jesus because he loves me... and He shows it to me over and over again." Are we sin-obsessed in that we find our identity in our sin and not in our freedom and healing?

What do you think?

Refugee Adoption

I am reading a book called How Does It Feel To Be A Problem? by Moustafa Bayoumi. It is a collection of stories from American Arabs post 9/11. I find the stories of immigrants to be fascinating and significant. I know so few personally, so I am dependent on books such as this and Interpreter of Maladies to share them.

I think what I find so compelling is their perspectives - they see America and the world in such a different way. I find it refreshing. It is so easy for me to get lost or stuck in my own world - in my own interpretations and opinions.

So far the story of Rasha is my favorite. A young, independent Muslim that found a balance between her faith and the new culture. It was difficult and she faced a lot of obstacles - but she was determined and never lost heart. She became the president of her high school - wearing her headcovering and all in a secular public school in Brooklyn. Her eventual success wasn't able to make her conform. She stood firmly in who she was - an Arab Muslim - and crossed cultural divides and common misunderstandings with her courage.

Her story is powerful and inspiring. The other stories are as well. Another story is about a woman whose entire family was abruptly arrested after 9/11 b/c of suspicious neighbors. They spent three months in "detention" with no clear idea of what their charges were until finally released. Another story is about an American solider - called upon to flight in Iraq and the internal conflict he faced being Arab and fighting Arabs. And there are even more stories... but I can't write about them all.

It seems they all struggle intensely to discover who they are in a culture that assumes the worst and encourages fear. At the very least, it reminds me that we are humans - capable of inflicting pain on one another. We don't get to choose what country we're born in, the color of our skin, what language our family speaks, or what our culture will value. I could have been born as anyone... but here I am. American, Caucasian, and wealthier than most of the world. Like the people who shared their stories in the book, I must embrace who I am and make the most of it. And I hope to help others do the same - whatever ethnicity, culture and beliefs.

And so, of course, this leads me to think again of adoption. It is one possible way that we can contribute to the world. We recently heard of this program through the United Nations that finds families to host refugees, ages 10 to 18, in order to help them get educated. The main commitment of the family is to help the child get to college. To help break the cycle of poverty and war their home country now faces. I love this idea and like to think about how it might work out.

Berkeley could be a great place for this. It's diverse enough that an international youth would hopefully have the freedom to find out who they are without feeling pressured to conform one way It is home to the best public college in the nation. The child isn't a baby so we could keep working while they're at school. We could finish out the ground floor so they'd have a bedroom. We could show them what we know to be American and see what they think.

It's a great idea.

The hope that we have.

"I still struggle with a spiritual belief system that pitches an afterlife as its brightest reward, its light at the end of the tunnel -whether it's Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Buddhism, Hinduism, whatever. Especially when that afterlife is entirely impossible to prove; it must be accepted on faith. Yet they talk as it if were a fact, and not just for themselves but for the people who don't even share their faith! And facts can be based on a lot of things, but faith isn't one of them."

"So, if heaven, an afterlife, an all-powerful God, and biblical truth aren't happening for you, what is" I asked Casper.

"Personal truth, Jim. And people realizing that their beliefs are just that: beliefs And that their faith is just that: faith. It's not factual, not visible, not tangible; it's just something they have chosen."

"So if you wanted Christians to hear one thing, what would you tell us?"

"I guess I'd just like Christians and church leaders to be more honest. Not just with me, but with everyone in their churches. Stop treating faith as a fact. Call it a hope. Call it confidence, not certainty. I guess I'd like some straight-shooting; 'Hi, Life is challenging. But we've found that being followers of Jesus has helped us. Maybe it could help you too.' That'd be refreshing. And I'd be interested in hearing more and asking questions. In short, I'd be interested in having a conversation."

(Jim and Casper Go To Church, pg. 145)

I Voted

"Vote on Godly Principles"

This post is a response to an article you can find HERE.

Basically, in my opinion, this article is suggesting that our government is Christian and that Christians must be Republican. See some quotes and thoughts below:

“Former U.S. Congressman Bob McEwen addressed students during Monday’s convocation, reminding them of the principles and values the country was founded upon.”

Growing up in the Midwest and in a very religious household, I was taught that our country was founded on principles that aligned with the Christian religion. And since I’ve never really studied history or government or the founding fathers beyond elementary school – it seemed good to me, so I didn’t question it. On the west coast, however, where I now live, I’ve met a lot of people who don’t believe this all. “They” argue that the founding fathers were Deists at best… and that is a huge stretch of historical facts to tie their beliefs to anything else.

Regardless of their personal spiritual preferences, the founding fathers all agreed that the freedom of religion and spirituality was important enough to establish laws to protect. In the midst of this conversation, I think this is the part that matters most. And I am not sure that most Christians understand the implications of what this really means. In order to establish a country that believes in and protects religious freedom, a country cannot be founded on any one religion. They would have to figure out what was most essential and human and commonly valued by all – regardless of religion – and base the country on that… hence the development of the Constitution.

This would lead me to conclude that our country was based on the Constitution, not on Christianity. Our religious freedom is what makes us different than most other countries. If you elect a candidate solely because he promises, or claims, to base his decisions on one religion – you begin to take away that freedom for all those people that follow other religions. America is a country of diversity – we have Mormons, Muslims, Atheists, Hindus, Buddhists… our beauty is found in our diversity. We must protect our freedom.

Side note:
The article goes on to say, “"Fewer taxes give us more freedom. A strong defense protects our freedom, and that's what government should do." Well… that’s a matter of opinion. It depends heavily on what taxes do and who they serve. Our defense depends heavily on how we use it – not on the how enormous it is. In the days of war when men fought each other face to face with guns and knives, this might be more important. In today’s world of bombs and explosions – the less the better.

Office Halloween Party

My office had a Halloween party at lunch today that included a pumpkin carving contest and a costume contest. I was nominated to be a judge for both so I didn't have to dress up or carve anything! The picture above is me and the other pumpkin judges giving out our awards - the one I am holding up won the "least amount of effort" award (somebody just used a black sharpie to mark a smiley face on it) and the other happy-go-lucky design won the "cheery spirit" award. The one just behind me is the first place winner - a carved out design of Obama's face!

Death Row Doctors...

In the book Better: A Surgeon’s Notes on Performance, the author, Atul Gawande, interviews doctors that are involved in death row executions. I have to admit that when I think about whether I approve or oppose of the death row, the doctors that have to carry out the sentence are the farthest thing from my mind. The interviews were fascinating – how did they end up in this line of work, how does it effect their view of medicine, how does it effect their view of themselves… no unnecessary drama or guilt… just a conversation.

Atul Gawande discusses the oath that physicians take in order to practice medicine. Here is the original oath, translated from Greek into English (emphasis mine):

I swear by Apollo, Asclepius, Hygieia, and Panacea, and I take to witness all the gods, all the goddesses, to keep according to my ability and my judgment, the following Oath.

To consider dear to me, as my parents, him who taught me this art; to live in common with him and, if necessary, to share my goods with him; To look upon his children as my own brothers, to teach them this art.
I will prescribe regimens for the good of my patients according to my ability and my judgment and never do harm to anyone.

I will not give a lethal drug to anyone if I am asked, nor will I advise such a plan; and similarly I will not give a woman a pessary to cause an abortion.

But I will preserve the purity of my life and my arts.

I will not cut for stone, even for patients in whom the disease is manifest; I will leave this operation to be performed by practitioners, specialists in this art.
In every house where I come I will enter only for the good of my patients, keeping myself far from all intentional ill-doing and all seduction and especially from the pleasures of love with women or with men, be they free or slaves.

All that may come to my knowledge in the exercise of my profession or in daily commerce with men, which ought not to be spread abroad, I will keep secret and will never reveal.

If I keep this oath faithfully, may I enjoy my life and practice my art, respected by all men and in all times; but if I swerve from it or violate it, may the reverse be my lot.

One of the questions Gawande asks the doctors is how their involvement with death row relates to this famous oath. Looking back over the wording of the actual oath, I understand that parts of it are clearly and obviously ignored by physicians now due to advancements in technology and law. However, regardless of whether a physician religiously holds to this oath or not, I tend to assume that they all continue to maintain a determination to cause no harm and to help those they serve. Hence my immense curiosities to hear what the physician’s thoughts on the subject are.

I believe that doctors aren’t required by law to be involved in executions… but have been requested due to accidents that happen with administering the doses… such as obese prisoners not dying immediately but slowly suffocating due to the paralysis they feel. Logically, we’d want a doctor to be there to cause the least amount of suffering while administering death, right?

The whole thing is slightly disturbing though I appreciate viewing this issue from another perspective. It helps me to rethink my opinions and views… to see a little bit more of the implications of some of the things we make removed decisions about. Though this has no relevance (that I know of) to any political discussions currently being engaged in our country – I wanted to write while the thoughts were still in my head…

political bread

This upcoming election is everywhere. Nearly every popular public place in Berkeley has people with campaign buttons and voter registration cards! You can't turn on the television without hearing the latest on Palin's fashion to Obama's grandmother. It's crazy! Regardless of the outcome, the energy and excitment in undeniable... at least in the SF bay. Even the local bakeries are getting involved!

my yelo

Two weekends ago, Mosaic hosted an event we call yelo. Here is the tagline from the website:

yelō uses the Gallup StrengthsFinder, Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, and Character Matrix to help individuals uncover their unique strengths and make their irreplaceable contribution to humanity. Join us for this unrivaled experience and discover the life you are created to live!

Our goal is to continue to develop yelo in order to impact and serve the Bay area - no strings attached, no set expectations or obligations for those who come. At this last event, my entire interiors team wanted to come! It was exciting to see how excited and interested they were in really making the most of this information.

So post-yelo we have decided to have one person a week, from the team of seven, share their strengths in their own words and then develop a few goals or tasks. I thought I'd volunteer to go first, as I've been exposed to yelo for a few years now and have had some extra time to think. I was so excited about it I wanted to post it for all my friends and family.

My top-five strengths:
Input:
I am inquisitive. I find so many things interesting – the world is full of variety and diversity and I am energized by keeping my mind fresh and open to knowing more. I am challenged by the unknown.

Intellection:
I am introspective. I am energized by taking time to process and reflect on the things I find interesting. I have a complex internal world – with my own board of directors. I like to pose questions to myself and try out different ideas. I am good at taking a lot of information and breaking it down into the most important or relevant parts.

Restorative:
I am energized by breaking down complexity and finding the core or source of problems/information. I thrive on independence and freedom – and being given the responsibility to find out different ideas/solutions.

Responsibility:
In the process, I tend to develop a psychological bond to the problems and information that I ponder. Because I am drawn to ideas and solutions, I am compelled to share them with those around me though I find the responsibility to carry them out to the maximum amount of detail to be overwhelming. I work best with clear boundaries… knowing what is expected of me.

Arranger:
I am committed to finding the best way or idea or solution possible. I am an example of “effective flexibility”, whether I am changing travel schedules at the last minute because a better fare has popped up or mulling over just the right combination of people and resources to accomplish a new project. Hence I will resist too much rigidity or structure – always keeping it open to change in case a better way is found.

Goals to develop strengths:
1. Organization: I can get lost in a sea of information and need to continue to develop effective systems to help retrieve or make the most of all the information.
2. Expression: I need to continue to find ways to express or share the information and thoughts that I develop.

Measurable Goals/Tasks for the office:
1. Making time to share ideas and information such as through in-house presentations, articles, or reviews.
2. Breaking down sustainability criteria into tangible tools other designers can use.
3. To be developed!

Racial Inequality

Recently, Kv had the pleasure of meeting the managing director of a local theatre. He was greatly inspired by her passion and vision for the Bay area and was compelled to see a performance there. So this weekend we went to see the play Yellowjackets, which was about Berkeley High School in 1993-94. The story was built around the students and staff involved with the high school newspaper that year. Through a series of controversial articles published in the paper, racial tension quickly emerged. The play was witty and compelling - I recommend it if you get a chance.

Another book I read earlier this year, but have yet to fully review, is Class Dismissed. It is also focused on BHS and the racial tension and inequality issues of the graduating class of 2000. The year I graduated…. though at that time I was in Kansas City. BHS seems to have developed a reputation as a microcosm of the country in this particular issue. It is the only high school in the city… with over 3,000 students of multiple ethnicities and material wealth. It provides an unending case study to sociologists, social justice, psychologists, professors, etc. Even walking by the campus – with its multiple buildings and formidable walls, ignites my curiosity. It reminds me of the high school I went to when we lived in Colorado… similar issues, similar student differences, similar prison looking buildings… though I never got the chance to graduate from there due to my family's relocation to KC.

My third encounter with this particular subject is also recent, regarding politics and race. Lately, NPR (National Public Radio) has been discussing the possible backlash that may occur regardless of which candidate gets elected next week. I am sure this topic isn't too surprising to anyone, yet it makes me feel so uneasy. A few weeks ago I awoke from a nightmare in which pro-White people randomly attacked African Americans throughout the country in retaliation. It wasn't too long ago that our country supported racial discrimination in the form of slavery. Can we keep this discrimination in the past where it belongs? I sure hope so.

Rockumentary

Last night we went and saw a “rockumentary” called Call and Response. I have to admit that I was reluctant to go specifically due to the intensity of the subject matter – Human trafficking/slavery. I tend to oppose subjecting myself to visually disturbing experiences under the guise of being able to relate or know more about a subject. I don’t need to see rape to understand the severity of its implications. I don’t have to see violence to understand its destructiveness. Yet somehow, I think our visual aid hungry society disagrees with me. Thankfully, this film didn’t.

I thought it was thoughtfully composed and creatively brilliant. Between different popular musicians playing a song on the subject matter, the film showed interviews with popular activists, photographs of some of trafficking’s victims and even provided commentary on some of the deep issues connected to this dark secret. I found the ability of the music to communicate passion and concern to be extremely powerful… penetrating the soul. I guess I hadn’t yet consciously connected the power of music with activism until I had it displayed right before me.

Never underestimate the power of music to create movement.

I really really needed to be reminded of that… to say the least.

Is that a good thing?

One of the senior members of my office told me I was "tenacious" today... in the context of sustainability and information. Tenacious is not a word I use very often - so I'm not entirely sure how to interpret it. I looked it up in the dictionary: holding fast; characterized by keeping a firm hold; highly retentive; pertinacious, persistent, stubborn, or obstinate. I am assuming that tenacious is a good thing... unless, of course, she is referring to the stubbornness...

On another note, last night was my second indoor soccer game. It was… character development, to say the least. We were short two people while the other team had four or five substitute players. At half time, the score was 6 to 0. They scored 7 more goals in the twenty-five minutes of the second half. I barely survived – and I mean this in reference to my heart turning evil. There was day when I played with the mentality that if I was going to lose, I was going to make the other team feel it the next day, to say the least. But I kept my mouth shut and I kept playing for the dang ball… against all odds, I still believed I could score if I had one more good play…

What I love most about playing soccer is that – when I am playing soccer, that is all I am doing. I am all there. All that matters is where my teammates are and where the ball is. When I emerge from the field I’m returning from another world. Hence the reason it is all too easy to let my competitive side drive me… anywhere. It is good to get to play again!

Garbage Land

I just finished a book called Garbage Land and loved it! It is long past it's library due date thanks to my determination to write a review. And so, before I owe the library it's value to own, I try to write.


The book is written by a journalist in the New York City area that follows her household garbage to it's final destination - including landfills, recycling centers, compost facilities, etc. I really appreciate her writing style in that she included her own thoughts as she did the facts. It makes a book that covers a mundane topic (to most) very witty and revealing. She uncovers the secret paths of garbage as a detective a crime mystery. I learned many random and interesting things that I thought I'd briefly share with you. I have to warn you, some of this news is rather grim - but I think it's important to be educated - in hopes that we can make more thoughtful and wise choices every day.


Some random facts:

1. A ten ton garbage truck gets three miles to the gallon.

2. 125 years ago the kitchen trash can didn't exist. Until the late 1880s, the stove was the principal means of disposal.

3. The largest active landfill in the United States is located in Whittier, California.

4. Nearly all waste transfer stations, landfills, wastewater treatment plants are located in low-income neighborhoods and communities of color. There are multiple studies that indicate higher rates of cancer, leukemia, and birth defects affect those who live within 250 feet of a landfill.

5. Local household chemicals, such as cleaners and shampoos, eat away at plastic liners in buried landfill sites - allowing "leachate" to contaminate underground water. (A good reason not to throw them away... or even buy toxic stuff in the first place.)

6. The NYC mob ran the waste business for some time before Giuliani ran it out.

7. An average of sixty percent of household waste can be composted.

8. As paper is recycled over and over again, it's fibers become shorter, making it only usable in lower grade paper products like cereal and shoe boxes. Inks, glues and dyes reduce the number of times clean white paper can be recycled to four. After being recycled four times, the short fibers are used in things like kitty liter and potting soil.

9. Virgin paper-making depletes forests and uses more water than any other industrial process. It dumps billions of gallons of contaminated water (with chlorinated dioxin) into nearby lakes and rivers. The process of recycling paper cuts water usage in half, provides jobs, and creates a sell-able product.

10. It is better to throw kleen-x and tissues into the toilet b/c sewage treatment plants decompose organic waste and paper - in a landfill, they might not decompose at all (due to lack of oxygen) or if they do, they would produce methane gas (a greenhouse gas).

11. We ship most of our "recyclables" (such as metals and plastics) to third world countries, of which 50 percent is contaminated. This waste is left for ragpickers to go through - or sent to factories where women and children work for less than thirty cents a day.

12. Plastic is not recyclable as metal, glass and paper are. "Streams of mixed plastic can be turned into only one other product (plastic wood, garden pavers, or toothbrush handles, for example). When their useful life is over, these products cannot be 'recycled' again. They have to be burned or buried. Either way, they add toxins to the environment. Unmixed streams are another matter: they actually can be refashioned into bottles and containers. But there isn't much demand from their makers for recycled plastic. Virgin is so much cheaper." (Garbage Land, pg. 190, Royte)

13. Human waste treatment plants do not address hormones and antibiotics flushed down the toilet by hospitals and patients.

14. "Biosolids" - the part of human waste that is left over in treatment plants, and municipal sludge - is commonly used as fertilizer by large industry ran farms. The use of manure as fertilizer is not new, however, this human waste is often unregulated (or loosely regulated b/c they don't know what else to do with it). It may contain many chemicals - including the bleach and unused medicine we flush down the toilet.

15. "For every barrel of trash you set on the curb, there are 71 barrels of waste generated upstream, in manufacturing all the stuff you bought, used for just a short amount of time, and then consigned to the dump. Municipal solid waste is only 2 percent of the entire U.S. waste stream: the rest is manufacturing waste, agricultural waste, mining waste, construction and demolition debris, and other rarefied categories." (pg. 3, Reading Group Guide, Garbage Land, Royte.)

Changes we've thought about since reading this book:

1. Composting. See blog post below for more information. I was familiar with the concept but uneducated about the benefits and our city does most of the work :)

2. Giving preference to products with recycled content to help promote the continued collection and production of recycled material. This includes paper towels, toilet paper, printer paper, etc. It can also include clothing, decorative items, rugs and carpet, etc.

3. Becoming a "plastic free" household. We use glass containers for left-overs, wood cutting boards and counters, metal water bottles, etc.

4. Purchase with end of life cycle in mind - this might mean spending more money for a higher quality product that we can keep longer and use more. For example, we recently needed to buy a new shower curtain. I looked at so many stores - I got frustrated. Most stores only offered cheap, vinyl curtains. We finally found a washable, cotton curtain - but there was a noticeable cost difference. However, due to my recent reading and my field of work, I was determined to find an alternative to vinyl.

5. Getting more involved in the manufacturing and design of consumer goods - and hope to help by designing better products. Durable products that stand the test of time, are made of renewable materials and are free of toxic chemicals.

6. Attending our city's waste informational meetings. The city provides opportunities for locals to learn about how they collect and distribute waste. It is also a good opportunity to learn about upcoming changes. (SF is banning the throwing away of all "sharps" starting September 1st. Apparently their waste sorting team was getting stuck by too many needles.)

Secrets of the sidewalk

"Remain inside."

Twice this week I've been asked to remain inside due to violence or police activity outside. The first time was at the office... an email warns us to "avoid the back lot due to police activity". We all receive the email simultaneously and look up - a group of about 20 moves to the windows wondering what could possibly be happening out there. We see nothing but a cop or two walking around.. the action is just out of view and we return to our desks.

Then last night - we arrived at a pizza/bar place down the street from a friends. We arrived at 10:30 and saw police cars parked across the street... but no activity. It looked similar to a police car pulling somebody over on the side of the road. We wondered why there were five police cars and hardly any people even out.

Within minutes, as we sit inside and order pizza - the servers go to the front and lock the doors - as a person running by bangs on the glass of the windows. We are asked by the bar to remain inside with drinks on the house until the police release us. We watch as hundreds of youth take off running in the street - and as police take out rubber bullet guns. We suspect a gang fight and now understand the overload of cops earlier. They knew what was coming.

Within the hour the streets are cleared yet a few police cars remain to enforce the peace. The bar tells us we are free to leave and asks us to be careful as we walk home.

We walk outside... the streets the same as the often are. I feel a mixture of emotions... At first it is unreal and my curiosity far outweighs my sense of fear, or reality. Then sadness, as I realize this isn't the film set of an action movie, but the real lives of some of those who live here. Then fear - this is not a joke - we begin to honestly pray that nobody gets hurt.

It is here one minute and gone the next. As we walk back to the car I tread carefully on the sidewalk - oh the stories the concrete holds in silence...

Twice this week. Twice too much.

The Greenest City in California

According to the Daily Californian, I live in the greenest city in California - Albany. At least, politically. That means my city is the most politically environmentally minded group in the state. Are our political views reflected in the way we live our lives? The article believes so, as it evaluates the number of hybrids and LEED buildings. However, both of these things, LEED and hybrids, tend to appeal to the small minority of us that can afford them. But the simple and small things - inexpensive and unimpressive - we can all do. Such as compost - Albany picks up all your organic and garden waste and composts it for you. All you have to do is throw your green waste into the bin. According to the book, Garbage Land, sixty percent of our daily household trash is compostable. That includes food stained paper and cardboard, unused vegetables, coffee grinds, and grass clippings (if any of us actually had grass). The hardest part about it is taking the time to dump the greens - before your kitchen starts to smell :)

Another small step - biking (or cycling if you prefer). Granted, you have to purchase a bike... but $400 for a simple road bike compared to the cost of a car - with insurance, gas, maintenance, etc. - it will pay itself off within a month. The Bay area has already built in numerous bike lanes and routes - and provides websites to help you navigate the city, such as 511.org. The perceptions of biking have got to change - from something only upper class people who need to exercise do - to something everybody can do. Heck - I see homeless people riding bikes all the time (which is a good reminder to keep them locked when not in use.) We recently gave up one of our cars and I've been riding my bike to and from work every day. Thankfully, in the SF Bay area this is relatively easy to do as my office is only four miles away from our house and as the temperature is usually somewhere in the low 60s in the morning. Perfect for a less sweaty early morning ride :)

The last thing I'll mention today is partnering with a CSA (community supported agriculture) program. We have a delivery site for Full Belly Farm less than 200 feet from our house - and there are multiple delivery sites throughout the East Bay. This might not sound simple initially - and the cost might raise some doubt - but the $17 we pay twice a month provides almost too much vegetables for our small family to eat. It saves me a trip to the grocery store, keeps us seasonal and local, and I love the challenge of figuring out how to use all the stuff we get. Beyond that, the Ecology Center in Berkeley is determined to widen access to local farmer markets to make them more affordable for all. They have volunteers set up small sidewalk stores all over the city on different days of the week.

Waste reducing compost, oil free bike riding, and vegetable providing CSA's are some of those simple, inexpensive steps that all East Bay residents can aspire to - so that our "greenness" isn't measured just by hybrids and LEED buildings alone - but by the way we change our life in the small things.