Refugee Adoption

I am reading a book called How Does It Feel To Be A Problem? by Moustafa Bayoumi. It is a collection of stories from American Arabs post 9/11. I find the stories of immigrants to be fascinating and significant. I know so few personally, so I am dependent on books such as this and Interpreter of Maladies to share them.

I think what I find so compelling is their perspectives - they see America and the world in such a different way. I find it refreshing. It is so easy for me to get lost or stuck in my own world - in my own interpretations and opinions.

So far the story of Rasha is my favorite. A young, independent Muslim that found a balance between her faith and the new culture. It was difficult and she faced a lot of obstacles - but she was determined and never lost heart. She became the president of her high school - wearing her headcovering and all in a secular public school in Brooklyn. Her eventual success wasn't able to make her conform. She stood firmly in who she was - an Arab Muslim - and crossed cultural divides and common misunderstandings with her courage.

Her story is powerful and inspiring. The other stories are as well. Another story is about a woman whose entire family was abruptly arrested after 9/11 b/c of suspicious neighbors. They spent three months in "detention" with no clear idea of what their charges were until finally released. Another story is about an American solider - called upon to flight in Iraq and the internal conflict he faced being Arab and fighting Arabs. And there are even more stories... but I can't write about them all.

It seems they all struggle intensely to discover who they are in a culture that assumes the worst and encourages fear. At the very least, it reminds me that we are humans - capable of inflicting pain on one another. We don't get to choose what country we're born in, the color of our skin, what language our family speaks, or what our culture will value. I could have been born as anyone... but here I am. American, Caucasian, and wealthier than most of the world. Like the people who shared their stories in the book, I must embrace who I am and make the most of it. And I hope to help others do the same - whatever ethnicity, culture and beliefs.

And so, of course, this leads me to think again of adoption. It is one possible way that we can contribute to the world. We recently heard of this program through the United Nations that finds families to host refugees, ages 10 to 18, in order to help them get educated. The main commitment of the family is to help the child get to college. To help break the cycle of poverty and war their home country now faces. I love this idea and like to think about how it might work out.

Berkeley could be a great place for this. It's diverse enough that an international youth would hopefully have the freedom to find out who they are without feeling pressured to conform one way It is home to the best public college in the nation. The child isn't a baby so we could keep working while they're at school. We could finish out the ground floor so they'd have a bedroom. We could show them what we know to be American and see what they think.

It's a great idea.

The hope that we have.

"I still struggle with a spiritual belief system that pitches an afterlife as its brightest reward, its light at the end of the tunnel -whether it's Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Buddhism, Hinduism, whatever. Especially when that afterlife is entirely impossible to prove; it must be accepted on faith. Yet they talk as it if were a fact, and not just for themselves but for the people who don't even share their faith! And facts can be based on a lot of things, but faith isn't one of them."

"So, if heaven, an afterlife, an all-powerful God, and biblical truth aren't happening for you, what is" I asked Casper.

"Personal truth, Jim. And people realizing that their beliefs are just that: beliefs And that their faith is just that: faith. It's not factual, not visible, not tangible; it's just something they have chosen."

"So if you wanted Christians to hear one thing, what would you tell us?"

"I guess I'd just like Christians and church leaders to be more honest. Not just with me, but with everyone in their churches. Stop treating faith as a fact. Call it a hope. Call it confidence, not certainty. I guess I'd like some straight-shooting; 'Hi, Life is challenging. But we've found that being followers of Jesus has helped us. Maybe it could help you too.' That'd be refreshing. And I'd be interested in hearing more and asking questions. In short, I'd be interested in having a conversation."

(Jim and Casper Go To Church, pg. 145)

Death Row Doctors...

In the book Better: A Surgeon’s Notes on Performance, the author, Atul Gawande, interviews doctors that are involved in death row executions. I have to admit that when I think about whether I approve or oppose of the death row, the doctors that have to carry out the sentence are the farthest thing from my mind. The interviews were fascinating – how did they end up in this line of work, how does it effect their view of medicine, how does it effect their view of themselves… no unnecessary drama or guilt… just a conversation.

Atul Gawande discusses the oath that physicians take in order to practice medicine. Here is the original oath, translated from Greek into English (emphasis mine):

I swear by Apollo, Asclepius, Hygieia, and Panacea, and I take to witness all the gods, all the goddesses, to keep according to my ability and my judgment, the following Oath.

To consider dear to me, as my parents, him who taught me this art; to live in common with him and, if necessary, to share my goods with him; To look upon his children as my own brothers, to teach them this art.
I will prescribe regimens for the good of my patients according to my ability and my judgment and never do harm to anyone.

I will not give a lethal drug to anyone if I am asked, nor will I advise such a plan; and similarly I will not give a woman a pessary to cause an abortion.

But I will preserve the purity of my life and my arts.

I will not cut for stone, even for patients in whom the disease is manifest; I will leave this operation to be performed by practitioners, specialists in this art.
In every house where I come I will enter only for the good of my patients, keeping myself far from all intentional ill-doing and all seduction and especially from the pleasures of love with women or with men, be they free or slaves.

All that may come to my knowledge in the exercise of my profession or in daily commerce with men, which ought not to be spread abroad, I will keep secret and will never reveal.

If I keep this oath faithfully, may I enjoy my life and practice my art, respected by all men and in all times; but if I swerve from it or violate it, may the reverse be my lot.

One of the questions Gawande asks the doctors is how their involvement with death row relates to this famous oath. Looking back over the wording of the actual oath, I understand that parts of it are clearly and obviously ignored by physicians now due to advancements in technology and law. However, regardless of whether a physician religiously holds to this oath or not, I tend to assume that they all continue to maintain a determination to cause no harm and to help those they serve. Hence my immense curiosities to hear what the physician’s thoughts on the subject are.

I believe that doctors aren’t required by law to be involved in executions… but have been requested due to accidents that happen with administering the doses… such as obese prisoners not dying immediately but slowly suffocating due to the paralysis they feel. Logically, we’d want a doctor to be there to cause the least amount of suffering while administering death, right?

The whole thing is slightly disturbing though I appreciate viewing this issue from another perspective. It helps me to rethink my opinions and views… to see a little bit more of the implications of some of the things we make removed decisions about. Though this has no relevance (that I know of) to any political discussions currently being engaged in our country – I wanted to write while the thoughts were still in my head…

Racial Inequality

Recently, Kv had the pleasure of meeting the managing director of a local theatre. He was greatly inspired by her passion and vision for the Bay area and was compelled to see a performance there. So this weekend we went to see the play Yellowjackets, which was about Berkeley High School in 1993-94. The story was built around the students and staff involved with the high school newspaper that year. Through a series of controversial articles published in the paper, racial tension quickly emerged. The play was witty and compelling - I recommend it if you get a chance.

Another book I read earlier this year, but have yet to fully review, is Class Dismissed. It is also focused on BHS and the racial tension and inequality issues of the graduating class of 2000. The year I graduated…. though at that time I was in Kansas City. BHS seems to have developed a reputation as a microcosm of the country in this particular issue. It is the only high school in the city… with over 3,000 students of multiple ethnicities and material wealth. It provides an unending case study to sociologists, social justice, psychologists, professors, etc. Even walking by the campus – with its multiple buildings and formidable walls, ignites my curiosity. It reminds me of the high school I went to when we lived in Colorado… similar issues, similar student differences, similar prison looking buildings… though I never got the chance to graduate from there due to my family's relocation to KC.

My third encounter with this particular subject is also recent, regarding politics and race. Lately, NPR (National Public Radio) has been discussing the possible backlash that may occur regardless of which candidate gets elected next week. I am sure this topic isn't too surprising to anyone, yet it makes me feel so uneasy. A few weeks ago I awoke from a nightmare in which pro-White people randomly attacked African Americans throughout the country in retaliation. It wasn't too long ago that our country supported racial discrimination in the form of slavery. Can we keep this discrimination in the past where it belongs? I sure hope so.

Garbage Land

I just finished a book called Garbage Land and loved it! It is long past it's library due date thanks to my determination to write a review. And so, before I owe the library it's value to own, I try to write.


The book is written by a journalist in the New York City area that follows her household garbage to it's final destination - including landfills, recycling centers, compost facilities, etc. I really appreciate her writing style in that she included her own thoughts as she did the facts. It makes a book that covers a mundane topic (to most) very witty and revealing. She uncovers the secret paths of garbage as a detective a crime mystery. I learned many random and interesting things that I thought I'd briefly share with you. I have to warn you, some of this news is rather grim - but I think it's important to be educated - in hopes that we can make more thoughtful and wise choices every day.


Some random facts:

1. A ten ton garbage truck gets three miles to the gallon.

2. 125 years ago the kitchen trash can didn't exist. Until the late 1880s, the stove was the principal means of disposal.

3. The largest active landfill in the United States is located in Whittier, California.

4. Nearly all waste transfer stations, landfills, wastewater treatment plants are located in low-income neighborhoods and communities of color. There are multiple studies that indicate higher rates of cancer, leukemia, and birth defects affect those who live within 250 feet of a landfill.

5. Local household chemicals, such as cleaners and shampoos, eat away at plastic liners in buried landfill sites - allowing "leachate" to contaminate underground water. (A good reason not to throw them away... or even buy toxic stuff in the first place.)

6. The NYC mob ran the waste business for some time before Giuliani ran it out.

7. An average of sixty percent of household waste can be composted.

8. As paper is recycled over and over again, it's fibers become shorter, making it only usable in lower grade paper products like cereal and shoe boxes. Inks, glues and dyes reduce the number of times clean white paper can be recycled to four. After being recycled four times, the short fibers are used in things like kitty liter and potting soil.

9. Virgin paper-making depletes forests and uses more water than any other industrial process. It dumps billions of gallons of contaminated water (with chlorinated dioxin) into nearby lakes and rivers. The process of recycling paper cuts water usage in half, provides jobs, and creates a sell-able product.

10. It is better to throw kleen-x and tissues into the toilet b/c sewage treatment plants decompose organic waste and paper - in a landfill, they might not decompose at all (due to lack of oxygen) or if they do, they would produce methane gas (a greenhouse gas).

11. We ship most of our "recyclables" (such as metals and plastics) to third world countries, of which 50 percent is contaminated. This waste is left for ragpickers to go through - or sent to factories where women and children work for less than thirty cents a day.

12. Plastic is not recyclable as metal, glass and paper are. "Streams of mixed plastic can be turned into only one other product (plastic wood, garden pavers, or toothbrush handles, for example). When their useful life is over, these products cannot be 'recycled' again. They have to be burned or buried. Either way, they add toxins to the environment. Unmixed streams are another matter: they actually can be refashioned into bottles and containers. But there isn't much demand from their makers for recycled plastic. Virgin is so much cheaper." (Garbage Land, pg. 190, Royte)

13. Human waste treatment plants do not address hormones and antibiotics flushed down the toilet by hospitals and patients.

14. "Biosolids" - the part of human waste that is left over in treatment plants, and municipal sludge - is commonly used as fertilizer by large industry ran farms. The use of manure as fertilizer is not new, however, this human waste is often unregulated (or loosely regulated b/c they don't know what else to do with it). It may contain many chemicals - including the bleach and unused medicine we flush down the toilet.

15. "For every barrel of trash you set on the curb, there are 71 barrels of waste generated upstream, in manufacturing all the stuff you bought, used for just a short amount of time, and then consigned to the dump. Municipal solid waste is only 2 percent of the entire U.S. waste stream: the rest is manufacturing waste, agricultural waste, mining waste, construction and demolition debris, and other rarefied categories." (pg. 3, Reading Group Guide, Garbage Land, Royte.)

Changes we've thought about since reading this book:

1. Composting. See blog post below for more information. I was familiar with the concept but uneducated about the benefits and our city does most of the work :)

2. Giving preference to products with recycled content to help promote the continued collection and production of recycled material. This includes paper towels, toilet paper, printer paper, etc. It can also include clothing, decorative items, rugs and carpet, etc.

3. Becoming a "plastic free" household. We use glass containers for left-overs, wood cutting boards and counters, metal water bottles, etc.

4. Purchase with end of life cycle in mind - this might mean spending more money for a higher quality product that we can keep longer and use more. For example, we recently needed to buy a new shower curtain. I looked at so many stores - I got frustrated. Most stores only offered cheap, vinyl curtains. We finally found a washable, cotton curtain - but there was a noticeable cost difference. However, due to my recent reading and my field of work, I was determined to find an alternative to vinyl.

5. Getting more involved in the manufacturing and design of consumer goods - and hope to help by designing better products. Durable products that stand the test of time, are made of renewable materials and are free of toxic chemicals.

6. Attending our city's waste informational meetings. The city provides opportunities for locals to learn about how they collect and distribute waste. It is also a good opportunity to learn about upcoming changes. (SF is banning the throwing away of all "sharps" starting September 1st. Apparently their waste sorting team was getting stuck by too many needles.)

Incomplete thoughts about pigs

The phrase "the pigness of pigs" keeps swirling around in my mind and I find my thoughts returning to it regardless of how irrelevant to the moment it is. I first came across this phrase as I was reading The Omnivore's Dilemma by Michael Pollan. In this section of the book he was visiting a truly organic small farm in Virginia and working alongside the interns and farmers. The day he used the phrase is the day he witnessed the pigs plowing through manure. Unfortunately I can't remember all the details (like what animals did the manure belong to, chickens or cows?) but I'll try to paint a vague picture so you'll appreciate the phrase as much as I did. I guess that pigs like something in manure and as they plow through it the hooves of their feet compost the pile into incredibly rich soil (which is then put over the fields). Pollan was explaining the complexity of relationships on the farm and how beautifully the entire system works together.



He was amazed as he watched their little tails wiggle as they worked their way through the pile. I guess pigs are relatively intelligent animals and can express happiness and also despair. On this little organic farm, the pigs wiggled their tails in pleasure. In factory farms, their tails are cut off so that as they move through the assembly line, the pig behind them won't be tempted to chew it – as they tend to do when in despair.


I am laughing as I type – here I am talking about manure and pig tails. Yuck! I can't believe the kind of stuff my gnawing curiosity will drive me to read!



The book continues with a discussion on how both the organic and factory farm pigs are, in a sense, exploited. One exploits them as a matter of efficiency and production, the other as a way of "celebrating" what the pigs naturally love to do. The small, organic farm had mastered "the pigness of the pigs."



One possible reason this phrase is soaking in my thoughts is because of its correlation to what I believe Mosaic is attempting to do (as I said, in my mind.) There is a type of church that exploits humans for the sake of safety. The other exploits humans as a tool of empowerment to change the world. Utilizing the "humanness of the humans" in a sense. I think that one type of church is convinced all "humanness" is bad while the other is attempting to empower the parts of "humanness" that reflect the image of God.



In the end, both pigs will be slaughtered and it is the meat that will determine their end value. Some may argue that since both ways achieve the same end – why does it matter what method was used to get them there? It is a valid question, to be sure, and one I don't think I can address in this post. I know I am leaving so much left undiscussed...



I know that as I write about this I am over-simplifying in great ways. The "pigness of the pig" doesn't easily translate into the "humanness of the human", especially if the farm is substituted for the church. However, I think its worth some thought – I know it will be in mind for quite awhile.

Ishmael the Gorilla, Part II

Did God stop creating once man was created?
Was the world created for man... or was man created to be part of all creation?
What did the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil represent?
What if we had ate from the Tree of Life instead?
Does intelligence evolve over time?

To use a metaphor that Ishmael mentioned, I feel like a tourist in my hometown. Residents don't act like tourists because they don't need to - they know their land. They know the monument that sits in the town square and the boats that sail in the bay. There is no need to revisit them and take pictures to refer back to - for they are embedded in our minds and in our consciousness - or are they? I feel like a tourist in my hometown. I thought I knew what it looked like, but at a second glance I am surprised. Is this what I saw last time I was here? Is this what the tourists see?

Everybody has colored lenses that they view life through. Our lenses are built from our past - our experiences, our thoughts, our personalities, our talents, our hopes, our dreams... they are uniquely ours. Often times it seems we search for people in life that have similar lenses to our own. Its only natural I think - a result of an innate desire to belong to someone, with something. To belong.

And now I'm twenty five. There is nothing special about my age - but it has changed my quest - my search. My desire to belong has not disappeared, nor has it been checked off as if I've managed to complete it - a new quest has merely filled my time and my thoughts. I can't quite name it yet and I hesitate to do so. As if slapping on a name would confine the quest in unexpected ways. All I know is this - before I was even aware of what I was doing, I've managed to slip on different pairs of lenses. Lenses so different, sometimes contrasting, to the one I once refused to live without.

At times I feel fear - as if I'm losing my mind or on the verge of going crazy. At other times I feel enlightened - as if I'm seeing life for the very first time.

I'll leave you with a quote from Ishmael, a very different, abstract lens...
"In other words, the world doesn't need to belong to man - but it does need man to belong to it. Some creature had to be the first to go through this, had to see that there were two trees in the garden, one that was good for gods and one that was good for creatures. Some creature had to find the way and if that happened, then there was just no limit to what could happen here. In other words, man does have a place in the world, but its not his place to rule. The gods have that in hand. Man's place is to be the first. Man's place is to be the first without being the last.
Ishmael, pg. 243, Daniel Quinn

Ishmael the gorilla

Last night I started reading the first book I’ve ever checked out of the library (at least since we’ve moved here) – Ishmael by Daniel Quinn. The book immediately captivated me and as I sit in my office this morning, I dream about being able to read again. Nine more hours till I get to re-enter into the adventure… nine more hours.

While I wait, and as I work, I think about what I’ve read so far. In the two chapters I’ve had the pleasure of reading, the book talks about the captivating effects of culture. Like an animal forced to move forward in a stampede – so the movement of culture can make us face a direction we didn’t exactly choose. It talks about how culture whispers to us constantly – a voice so consistent that it disappears into the background. Like a constant buzzing – it is always there, just under the radar of our consciousness.

My thoughts wander to a news update I heard this morning as the alarm went off. It was a report from Texas about the upcoming elections. The reporter was interviewing a few people from one of those massive mega churches. When asked about who they would vote for, the Christians remarked, “Well of course we’re voting for Huckabee because he’s a Christian.” After a few more seconds, and a few more comments directed at Hillary and the roles of women in leading, I couldn’t stand it anymore and had to turn it off. I calmed myself by imagining that if I silenced my radio it somehow silenced it to the rest of the world.

Now back to culture – I ponder the relationship between Jesus and culture. He was magnificently relevant yet counter-cultural at the same time. The more I learn about him, the more I admire his mysticism and genius. The church, or rather the body of believers that follow Jesus, have a difficult model to imitate. When I think about the Texas mega Christians I can’t help but think they missed it – they thought that creating their own sub-culture apart from the “worldly” one would be sufficient… but, in my opinion, it only led to estrangement and alienation of others different from them. I say this, realizing how tempting it is to do just this – to create a safe place, a refuge – to keep moving forward with culture yet feel protected by your own walls. I could easily fall into making the same choices – but my location and my experience have led me down a different path from them. Indeed, I’m sure I’ve created my own walls around different subjects and for different purposes – but we’ll save that discussion for another day.

So what does this look like – how will we do it – be magnificently relevant yet counter-cultural? I don’t think I can figure it out today, or on my own accord, but I’m excited for the journey.

Microtrends: Swing is Still King

I am currently reading Microtrends - written by Mark Penn - a guy that built a career out of gathering information and turning them into useful statistics. The book emphasizes the significance of 1 percent of the population. One percent. One percent of people making a similar choice - contrary to mainstream - that can create a movement capable of changing the world. It's not a book about how they will change the world, but about how they could. It's a fascinating study of what could be.

The book covers everything - Love, Sex, Relationships, work life, race and religion, health and wellness, family life, teens, lifestyle, money and class, fashion... Every area of life you could imagine. Of course it has a section on politics as well - and today, that is the section most on my mind.

Rather than try to rephrase his work, I'll include some quotes below. I've said this before and I'll say it again - it's an exciting time to be alive. Change is in the air.

"In the past fifty years, the number of Americans who call themselves Independents, rather than Democrats or Republicans, has grown from under one-quarter to over one-third of the voting public. In California alone, the proportion of Independent voters more than doubled between 1991 and 2005. The fastest growing political party in America is no party."

"That is a radical new willingness on the part of Americans to look at individual candidates, not party slates. It's the sign of a thinking electorate, not a partisan one."

"The power of the swing voters versus the base is not limited to the United States. In the U.K., there is the same kind of shift making the difference between Labour and Conservative governments. Once again, voters free of the party reins switch back and forth, most often based on who they believe will make the best leader, not which party they believe has the right platform."

"The impact is profound. The movement to watch is really the global Third Way movement - the triumph of pragmatic, independent thinking over left- or right-wing theology."

It's an exciting time to be alive. Change is in the air.

Blessed Unrest

"Books that influence us often contain ideas we already recognize due to intellectual preparation or predilection; rather than casting thunderbolts from the blue, they may unlock sensibilities from within."
Paul Hawken, Blessed Unrest, pg. 74

I picked up the book tonight to begin reading from the place where I last stopped - about 1/3rd of the way in - and decided to start from the beginning again. I read it faster this time and managed to pass by the last words I recognized to the end of the chapter. It's revolutionary. I believe I'll read it many more times.

This book is about the "unnamed movement". I can't possibly explain in one blog post what this entails... but I can barely conceal my excitement - as I realize with each word that I read that I am very involved in the unnamed - but have been awkwardly unable to find words to explain it... even now. The "sensibilities from within" are rising up in my soul faster than I have time to capture them with words. I could dedicate a million blogs to it... and still find myself at a loss of words.

Some quotes from the end of the last section I read:
(In a chapter discussing Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King, Gandhi, Thoreau and Emerson)

"We face such forks a million times a day, even in the space of a breath. Life is permeated with possibility at every instant. What distinguishes one life from another is intention, the one thing we can control."

"Individuals start where they stand and... make the road by walking."

"For him (Thoreau) there were no inconsequential acts, only consequential inaction."

Master of the Obvious

"That is why the best teachers are masters of the obvious. They see the same things we do, but they are aware of so much more. And when they point it out, it changes the way we see everything." Rob Bell: Velvet Elvis

My new goal in life: to be a master of the obvious. My husband recently told me I was good at "identification." Identifying things... calling things out as they are... able to discern the heart or truth behind things... able to see and identify. I drive him crazy with this: as I am easily able to identify problems. This odd strength... that at one time made me wonder if I was just more "negative" than others... now makes so much more sense. Beyond that, it is no longer limited to just problems. I think I am learning to see more and more. LA took me so far out of my comfort zone... but I had to be pulled away from all that I knew in hopes that I'd get to know so much more.

And now we find ourselves in the Bay. I am working temporarily for an architecture firm in San Francisco... Brereton Architects while considering an offer from Ratcliff. And... Mosaic as usual. I've felt so overwhelmed at times. And distracted. I can't wait to get this career stuff off my mind... but I am starting to realize that it will never go away. I think I will always be job searching, always wondering, always reconsidering.

Today I met with the Young Life director of the East Bay and we talked a lot about youth. My curiosity started to grow and my thoughts turned to wondering if I could get a masters in economics and teach at the high school. I could be the soccer coach as well :)

Economics and high school? What will I think of next?