Inspired or Discouraged??

I am supposed to be studying for the LEED exam that I hope to take someday… and I’m finally about 3/4ths of the way thru all the material… but tonight as I read about Indoor Air Quality, I find myself very distracted. I am surprised.

Did you know that Americans spend an average of 90% of their time indoors, where levels of pollutants may be two to five times- and occasionally more than 100 times- higher than outdoor levels? (According to the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency) Are you wondering how that is possible? I did. To summarize, indoor air pollution is caused by ventilation systems that fail to fully remove “old” air with fresh outdoor air. Bad systems can store dust, volatile organic compounds, microorganisms, and other contaminants for years. Not only that, but during construction and installation, the glues, paints and coatings, carpet, and wood we use release harmful chemicals into the air, that are frequently not fully flushed out of the building before it is opened to the public. Things like this can cause sicknesses and headaches, among other things, to anybody inside.

Sorry to bore you with technical info, but this was just the beginning of my surprise. Buildings aren’t as safe as I always assumed they were. Architects, contractors, and construction workers have a HUGE impact on the environment we live in every day. Not only that, but they can strongly influence your health and general well being by the way they design. And this is just one section of the several that I have read so far.

Its inspiring really. It is so easy for me to get discouraged at my job… especially when I sit day after day, staring at a computer screen, drawing some technical detail that seems so minor and really not that interesting. I especially hate the days where I walk out at the end of the day and realize that I’ve barely talked to another human being. I forget how God has allowed me to play a small part in the shaping of this earth and the environment that shelters and protects and provides for His people. Instead I focus on how my body aches from sitting down so long, and on how I dread opening AutoCad again to the same drawings I’ve been working on for months now. The other day I stepped out of the car and thought “God if only I could have one meaningful conversation today with somebody.”

I realize more and more lately how I rate the success of my day/life on the relationships I have. A completely unproductive day at work, yet full of random conversations and laugher, almost always beats a mostly full day of productivity. And… if I can’t have meaningful conversations at work b/c the environment and culture is not welcoming to this, than I find myself wishing I could be more productive, because at least if I can’t talk to somebody, I’d get something done. But then I find I’m not all that productive without being able to talk to somebody at least a little bit. So, you see, I’m in a bit of a bind.

And… as most people seem to perceive me as “quiet” I’ll clarify that when I say “talk to” somebody, I usually mean somebody talking to me. That’s right, I like to listen. Especially when I’m just getting to know somebody. And my close friends right now, are saying to themselves, “yeah right, Nikki and listening is maybe not two words I’d use together too frequently”, hence the comment about “especially when I’m getting to know somebody”.

Anyways, now that I’ve rambled and this email is on a completely different track than when I started, I’ll keep rambling. I think I’m just lonely here in LA. Its taking way too dang long to get to know somebody and when work seems to be filling most of my time, I seem to get depressed. I wonder, does my work environment just devalue the social aspects of life, or is that normal in the professional field? Am I just anti-social and need to be more aggressive and outgoing, or is it in some part, just LA, a huge city (a collection of 88 cities crammed into one- really!) and its just hard to get to know people?

Or maybe, its just the recent increase of family specific conflict that’s poured into my soul, that puts an overall shadow over everything. Yes, I think that’s definitely part of it.

I was going to write about volatile organic compounds and how God created an earth we’d have to die in, and about what spirituality really is, but I’ll save that for another day. Back to studying.