Deep Thoughts- be prepared

My hands tremble as I type tonight. I try to control the intensity of the emotions that I feel but the shaking reminds me that some things are just impossible to hide. Today Erwin talked about why God allows suffering... and the explanations that he gave based on multiple stories in the Word and also from his life made the reality of suffering all too real.

I feel it now as I just got finished talking with a dear friend. I love this friend so much, but he seems stuck in a cycle of suffering that quickly swallows any glimpse of hope by its centrifugal strength. I find myself suffering with him as he shares his stories and also as I remember my own past pains. We have all been hurt by those that we love... in fact the deepest hurt seems to come from those we know the best, the ones that we are most close to, the ones that our lives are bound to not by choice, but by blood. And the cycle that we can all easily find ourselves in, grows stronger and stronger and stronger with every breath we take as we continue to blame each other... I believe because we are all too insecure, too shallow, to just focus on the task of being responsible for ourselves- parents, teachers, professionals, coaches, and children, alike. Our judgement is so clouded by our self-righteousness, our justifications, our rationalizations, by our obsession with our "rights"... the cycle quickly swallows any glimpse of hope by these forces.
The number one reason Erwin gave for suffering is this: self-infliction. We are responsible for a lot of the suffering in the world. It is because He gave us the freedom of choice, the freedom of life, the freedom to think and be, that also gives us the freedom to hurt those we love the most. The scary thing is, as my friend shared his stories of hurt by another, I found myself quickly overcome with my own anger towards those who hurt me in a similar fashion... and in my head I screamed at them, and yelled, and as the intensity of my emotions grew... I saw myself lose control and hit them back. I saw myself inflicting on them, what they had inflicted on me. Then I suddenly stopped and asked myself, "would I really do that?" and silence covered my heart as I realized... I really could. I really could be that hurtful and vengeful and angry back. After all, I was justified- I had been hurt and was sick and tired of watching others be hurt the same way. After all, my self-righteousness cries out in my head, "well I may not be perfect, but at least I'm not like you." After all, my rationalization is that if I don't interfere this hurt will continue to spread... and its my "right" to defend and fight against those who inflict pain on others. Right? See... I suddenly entered the cycle myself... and now I'm just sad.

Because the reality of suffering, is that a lot of the time, its self-inflicted. Of course, a huge amount is due to the two others reasons he gave... but today I focus on the reality of the first one. How do we break these cycles that we enter into so easily? What hope is there for change?

There isn't I think- because no matter how hard we try, we will never be perfect, we will never be able to avoid hurting those we love, whether intentionally or not. Our thoughts will always be clouded by our own self-centeredness and rationalizations. The only hope we have, I am convinced- is to embrace the humility to acknowledge the reality of this type of suffering, to not pretend we can escape it, to not blame it on others, and to embrace the only hope we have for change... something outside of ourselves, something greater, and most importantly, something that will never falter in love...

God, please change me. Show me anger that doesn't inflict pain on others, show me grace to quickly forgive others, show me love that moves beyond myself into the lives of others- that meets them where they are, show me- share with me, the compassion You have on me, that I might show it freely to others, knowing Your love. Help me, Father, to help those that are also suffering, that they might know peace and love and freedom... Cover us in humility that comes from knowing Your love and that is free from condemnation. Amen.

Download Erwin's complete talk to hear about the other reasons that suffering exists and the role of God in it all.
www.mosaic.org/podcast/